Friday, April 22, 2011

TESTIMONIALS OF FORMER IFB SURVIVORS...

I was reared in a IFB and I can tell you a lot of stuff was going on. If a man lusted, it was the woman’s fault. If a man strayed from his wife, it was the woman’s fault for letting herself go! The man is the head of the household:AKA treat your wife and kids like crap! I was a troubled teen. I held a lot of stuff in. I felt I had no one to turn to. If you get a divorce you are unworthy, unacceptable! Trash! Women are not to hold any position of authority. Women are stupid! I saw a lot of arragance! However, today I am my own person. I make my own decisions. I go to a church where I can wear blue jeans and flip flops and be loved as I am. I served on a committee. I have been ordained to preach! I will as soon as I raise the money. Yes, I have some people that will shun me when I do. But remember the first evangelist was a female. The woman came to Jesus and said I have sinned forgive me. Jesus: You do not have just one husband but five! Go and sin no more. She had Jesus’s love in her immediately and ran to tell everyone. Come and meet a man that told me of my sins and healed me! Does God love her theology any less because her sex determination is female??? I don’t think so!

I was raised in an IFB church (until 1991, age 17 I ran away). I had never seen a show about the same church like mine until last Fri night. It was like for the first time…someone said exactly the way I was raised. Alot of people look @ me funny when I tell them I went to church Sun morn & night & Wed night. Went to the church school. Participated in only chuch acitivites & talked to only church people & everyone else was “of the world”. I understand the clothing rule, dating rule, music rule. I was the only girl in my grade @ school, w/ about 7 of us in my grade. I had a boyfriend &: he wasn’t even allowed to sit behind me & put his feet on the back bar of a metal folding chair, per church school rules. For awhile, the principle was allowed to paddle us. I was a “bad” girl becase I would sneak & listen to rock music…I was the bad one…& honestly…I was..I was very good in my book, but not what they thought of my. Extreme rules were horrible. I was taught stupid crap in that church. By age 13…I started having my own ideas…& they weren’t acceptable. God is too big for religion. I held so much anger in my heart when I left home @ age 17 for many many years. 37 today & I believe Christ died on the cross..alot of the principles but I still won’t walk into a church. A Bob Jones graduate dated my sis & is older brother to my highschool sweetheart. Today..he’s arrogant & judgmental (the older bro). Every religion has it’s sickos. i’m so glad that I watched 20/20 & heard others share my life.

I watched the story in total BELIEF! I was in an abusive pentecostal church from the time I was 12 until I was 18. I suffered from the residual effects harshly through my 40′s and although I have worked through much of the abuse and humilitation through prayer and counseling I still have things to work out from this situation. It is not the religions that are at fault. I still have a deep love for God and His Church. It is the men and women, yes there are women as well, who call themselved Pastors and Ministers and severaly abuse these callings and the trust of those in the spritual care. My hurt is that there are those who died due to lifestyles of drug abuse,alcoholism and other situations and the church used them as examples of what would happen if you were to backslide. Why couldn’t they see that these were victims of such horrific spitirual abuse that it caused them to take on these lifestyles. When you feel that nothing you do is acceptable to God you begin to do anything to mask the guilt and shame. This is how the devil uses abusive churches to destroy God’s children. A lot of people ask me how we stayed in that situation. But unless you have been in a spiritually abusive situation and understand the brainwashing that goes on it is hard to relate. Thankfully I am in a loving relationship with God, but it took many years for me to come back to Him and to realize that He is a loving, caring God of redemption. I pray that these exposures continue. I welcome the opportunity to share my own story of degradation, sexual abuse and humiliation if it will help someone to realize that they are not alone and there is a God who forgives and loves us all.

20 years of IFB, and I was abused throughout. As an early adult, I married a girl not in the IFB, and was all but banned from the community. when I was diagnosed with cancer, my parents, pastors all told me God gave me cancer because of my sins. I have broke away from this cult and no longer have speaking terms with my parents or siblings. Getting out of this cult will cost you the ‘friendship’ of every person you ever knew. This is why 90% of those who are raised in the IFB way, stick within the IFB bubble. You are brainwashed to believe their way is the ONLY way and those who question it have it beaten out of them until adulthood. I could sit for 10 hours and tell the most amazing stories of this cult. I have seen and lived through it all. God bless those who are able to get out of this cult and live a normal life, while at the same time keeping your faith.

While these girls’ stories of sexual abuse are horrific, I would like to point out that there are SO MANY other bizarre and abusive practices almost EXCLUSIVE to independent fundamental baptists that would have exposed them for the tyrannical liars that they are.

“Today, cults tend to follow a living leader who promotes new and occult (strange and mysterious) doctrines and practices. Most leaders demand that members live apart from everyday society in groups clled communes. Leaders claim they possess exclusive religious truth, and they command absolute obedience and allegiance from members.”

I was horrified and felt very sad and helpless for the children caught up in this demonic cult. They clearly are mentilly imbalanced and are sociopaths. They express their feelings with violence towards the least able to defend themselves, babies, small children, juveliles and their wives. WHY DO THESE WOMEN MARRY THESE MEN. They are mentally abused themselves or think its normal. This has got to stop. Put these big brave god touting men in prison and see how they get along. I bet not too well. That whole cult needs to be broken up. By the way, the “Bible” according to them, was written and added to by former Bible Belt people. People whose rage is from within themselves because they have no education nor a way to make a living without preying on others. It is shamful and a disgrace to the whole of the USA.

Hi Michelle – Dead on observations, the individual IFB church does take on the personality and convictions of the Pastor.
Jesus cares about what is on the inside way more than he cares about what is on the outside. In their mixed-up minds and in their desperate desire to be “seperated” these pastors have arbitrarily decided what that is supposed to look like and by golly, I’m the pastor, listen to me. Hey speaking of Jesus I’m starting to notice that alot of these IFB’s don’t seem to actually preach about Jesus, I mean open up the gospels and expositorily preach what Jesus taught and preached, kinda odd. They want to preach some OT about God’s judgement or something else, but seldom Jesus.
IFB pastors consistently twist scriptures to fit their agenda, it’s called proof-texting. One of the verses they constantly do this with, to keep folks sitting in the pews, is the old “Forsake not the assembling of yourselves together” IFB pastors have done so much damage to this verse, it is pathetic, and I have never heard one IFB pastor teach the proper meaning of this verse, and it certainly doesn’t mean be at the church every time the door’s open.

I don't have much to say about this issue except to give my story of how I came to realize this deception from the Independent Fundamental Baptist Church.

The IFB are notorious for claiming the importance of attending a "Bible Believing, Bible Preaching" church. The implication, of course, is that you will be attending a "Bible Believing, bible Preaching" church ONLY if you attend an IFB church. It was never overtly stated, but implied that if you didn't attend an IFB church then you weren't attending a "Bible Believing, Bible Preaching" church.

They never used scripture to defend this, just the idea that only the IFB truly believe and teach the Bible. I remember during my final year as an IFB discussing this with a trusted friend who had already come out of the IFB. We were discussing the differences among our churches and I had mentioned the importance of attending a "Bible believing, Bible preaching" church.

Her response was simple, but remarkably profound for me and began the change in my thinking that was so desperately needed. She simply said: "Do you really think that I don't believe the Bible?" That simple question was enough to get me thinking about this subtle, but extremely manipulative idea that the IFB holds the patent on truth, that somehow only they truly believe the Bible. Honestly I had never thought about it before. I just accepted that the IFB was the ONLY source of truth. I was truly brainwashed into thinking this lie.

This is directly tied to the IFB's incessant insistence that the KJV is the only version that is truly God's word. The idea is that other churches/denominations don't use the KJV therefore they aren't preaching or teaching the truth.

This deception is directly tied to the idea that one must go to church as well and that that church should be an IFB church otherwise you aren't really getting Biblical truth. I plan to talk about church attendance in a future post.

I wish all who read this and have been fed the lie that the IFB is the only source of Biblical truth and that if you don't attend an IFB then you aren't really hearing the truth to reconsider. You will be - or perhaps have been - told that if you don't attend an IFB church that you aren't really a "Bible Believing" Christian. This is a lie and a deception. Because of the subtle nature in which the IFB promotes this idea, this deception is very abusive and dangerous. Be aware of it and I encourage you to questions your pastor should he ever mention this idea to you.

I attended a KJV-only independent fundamental baptist church for 2 years. A lot of zeal for door-to-door and tract evangelism, but kinda cold and intolerant of other evangelical and Reformed Christian groups. When I came to believe in the doctrines of grace (like the Calvinist Baptist Charles Spurgeon), my pastor asked, “how did you get into that mess?” I felt I was in good company with Jonathan Edwards, George Whitfield, John Bunyan, John Eliot, William Carey, Adoniram Judson. Many of these fundamental baptists tell people to say the sinner’s prayer and equate that with salvation, as though the sinner’s prayer is magical. One time the pastor boasted that over 200 people “made a decision,” after the easter play, but only a couple returned. The pastor devoted a whole sermon on dancing and why it’s wrong…ridiculous

I submit, as do hundreds of others here that there is something very wrong with the IFB “movement” as you call it. I was in my last IFB church for about 20 years, was a faithful, tithing member and wasn’t as much as allowed to take up the offering. Why? Good question, I’m assuming it was either because I didn’t wear a tie, or that I was divorced (the IFB’s unpardonable sin)
Let’s see how fundy/legalistic you really are.
1) Do you teach OT mandatory tithing? or NT graceful giving as each man purposeth in his heart so let him give.
2) Are women welcomed wearing slacks in your services?
3) Are the preacher’s personal convictions taught as standards to be followed in the church?
4) Are all types of christian music allowed and promoted in the church services.
5) Are deacons and ushers required to wear ties?
6) Are people of color welcomed?
7) Are folks in mixed marriages welcome?

My legalism definition is alittle more detailed:
1) Distorting the gospel by adding conditions to free grace: Acts 15:1, 7-11; Galatians 1:6-7, 2:11-16, 4:8-11, Galatians 5:2-4, Col 2:16-17
2) Substituting man-made regulations for the Word of God: Matthew 15:1-3
3) Majoring on the minors and neglecting the more important issue: Luke 11:42
4) Overconcern with the externals while disregarding matters of the heart: Matthew 23:27
5) regarding with contempt or judging a brother based on matters of personal conviction: Romans 14:1-5
6) Trusting in ourselves that we are righteous based on religious performance: Luke 18:9-14
7) Hypocrisy, the leaven of the Pharisees: Luke 11:53 -12:1

The Independent fundamental baptist movement is decreasing. It requires a charismatic leader to keep it going. Many of those leaders are much more elderly now. I used to be involved in an IFB church but left due to its mind control and preaching a false gospel of say a prayer with me and you’re saved. Many of the characteristics of IFB churches are characteristic of cult!

Your experience with the IFB is not much different than mine. Thankfully, I had been taught good doctrine before I attended an IFB church.
I think the IFB system is very insidious because they actually believe correctly on most Bible doctrines. Satan doesn’t create his own system of religion, he always twists the true system. I think the reason why the IFB is so dangerous, is because you have a false system of religion functioning like the true one. I mean, from a distance, it is difficult to see the difference between the genuine and the fake. It is not until you get close up that the differences become apparent.
Often times, I think that Legalism is simply trying to live the Christian life in the power of the flesh. An unsaved person can try to live the Christian life in an outward sort of way and look pretty good doing it. The legalist, however, will always be exposed at some critical point when true spiritual energy is demanded.
I am still amazed, and even confounded to this day that the kind of churches mentioned here continue to function as though God were smiling on them. One Scripture that comes to mind is ” if the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness”. I can hardly think of a worse place to be in than thinking I am pleasing God and about His business , but never really knowing Him at all. May we truly know Him.

…and then there are the IFB churches…just when you think you’ve heard and seen it all regarding christians out of control, running amok in the name of the Christ, you find out about the unbelievable behavior of some of these IFB church members and particularly their pastors and male members. What a travesty! What a depraved lot of sinners! The simple fact that such wolves in sheep’s clothing execute such nefarious deeds confirms not just the presence of evil in this world but that Satan is alive and well. Blot them out, this stain on mankind. They want OT judgement/justice? I say give it to these pastors and their henchman congregants. And the wives and mothers that condone such idiocy. Don’t look to man for the solution; look to the purity of Jesus, the Son of God.

20/20 made me sick to my stomach. IFB is nothng short of a cult, where perverts belong…a bunch of very sick and twisted people hiding behind a so called religion. You will never convenience me that sexual/physical/emotional/spiritual abuse is right. Shame on you animals….

Can’t sleep after seeing the 20/20 piece tonight. It was very upsetting & yet I’m glad to see it come to light. My Grandfather was an IFB pastor. He & my Grandmother are both dead now but all of the 7 kids (my Dad included) were raised in the church. My Dad was the only one who didn’t become a pastor (or marry one). I remember my Dad & Mom telling us kids a story about how they spanked one of us when we were just a few months old over & over until we finally fell asleep (probably passed out). My Dad said it was because they could tell it was an “angry cry” & that they had to spank that “strong will- full disobedience” out of us. I’d never heard anyone else ever say anything like that until tonight. My sister & I were sexually abused by my Dad from about age 8 until high school. I really relate to what Steve says. I am absolutely a believer in Christ. I consider myself a Christian & can’t imagine how I would have survived without my Faith. And yet it makes me absolutely sick that my Dad used his position as a Deacon to manipulate. I believed what he was doing was my fault because he talked so much about God & could quote scripture. He was involved in the church. I felt it must be me. I got counseling as an adult & got help. Unfortunately my sister didn’t find peace anywhere & committed suicide 4 years ago. I feel that not only my Dad but a lot of people at IFB at to blame.

Check out Pensacola Christian College. I believe it is IFB. The people who are running it seem to be the most unchristian people. They intimidate their employees. They out and out lie to get what they want. They used straw buyers posing as young poor couples to rip off people to get their houses. They want to create a closed off compound. Men and women have to use different doors to enter buildings. Men had to go through spot checks to insure their hair is not too long and they have appropriate dress. They basically drag everyone into hall and run measurements. They supposedly have laxed some rules probably because their enrolment is down. They once made all of their students vote in Florida. No one could use the absentee ballots that many had already. They had to vote with the choices picked by school. precinct normally had no more than a 100. PCC ran all 4000+ through the precinct. I was in line for 7 hours listening to them. For being in college they pretty much new nothing about real life. They got away with it with no punishment.

My sister met a “born again” friend in college and since then began her drastic personal transformation from the fun-loving, athletic, sweet sister, to an all-encompassing Jesus-endoctrinated servant to her husband. I feel like I lost my sister that I knew and loved. She moved to Alaska with her “in hopes to become a pastor” husband 20 years ago and had several children. When I first met her husband, I remember not feeling that he was truly genuine and never trusted him. He was very extreme with his beliefs about the world, the limiting roles of men and women, and always had a “Jesus” reply to ANYTHING you may have said….I always felt (and still do)judged by him. But because he tried to be so sweet and charming to people, my parents and others thought he was just such a great guy…a great christian guy for their daughter. WELL!….as the years went by, my parents (and the rest of us) increasingly learned how extremely conservative and distant they had become as they segregated from the family and anyone who wasn’t fundamentally christian, like them. He is very controlling, authoritarian and according to family members who have seen him preach, uses a strict KJV yelling style that is rightous and unyeilding!
My sister and her daughters ONLY wear long conservative dresses and headpeices. The girls are not allowed to attend college and because they won’t get SS#’s for the kids, my dad’s hope to set up college funds for all of them was fruitless. They beleive the husband makes the final decisions and my sister doesn’t challenge him. They forbid dancing, any modern or rock music, alcohol use and don’t have a tv or radio. They shelter their kids from the REAL world and their extended family. I havent seen them in 5 years and before then it was 5 years. I don’t even know my neices and nephews and this point as my attempts to email my older nephew (to keep a connection) were suddenly stopped. Her husband twice reemed me out via email because I forwarded a link (to my sister)on gay marriage and another about the importance of “Acceptance” of diversity in order to create a healthier world. His responses were soooo harsh, judgemental and self-rightous that any christian message he was “trying” to send me was lost. Also, they never even acknowledged my wedding a few years ago… except for telling me that I should not marry my husband because he was divorced. I felt so hurt.
My parents often gave them money (to help them out with raising a family) but looking back on it, they never used that money to come visit them for years and my parents sadly hardly know those grandchildren…and my parents have only been kind and generous to them (But Catholic). Sadly, my dad suddenly passed away right after a family reunion that my sister in Alaska didn’t attend (despite not seeing my parents in 5 years! Yet they never complained about all the money they would accept from them!
I could go on with tons more concerns but I think you’ve got the picture. To me, this type of extreme “christian” thinking is full of HATRED, INTOLERANCE, IGNORANCE and OPPRESSION which fuels the opposite of what Jesus was all about, in my opinion. I worry for my sister. This is an mentally abusive situation, at the very least….in other words, CULTLIKE!

6 comments:

  1. I'm an Independent Fundemental Baptist, and I LOVE IT.

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  2. I have been an IFB for nearly 50 years. My late husband was a IFB preacher for 36 of his 55 years. Yes I have seen a few IFB preachers and men be abusive or opressive (THESE WERE REPROVED BY OTHERS) yet I believe that is true in all denominans. All in all I have no regrets and stick to the IFB using the old KJB and old songs. My heart breaks for any who were truly abused.

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  3. I was raised in the UPC church. I consider it to be a cult. What I find interesting is that we were taught that every other denomination that didn't believe the way we did was going to hell. I had never heard of IFB until a couple of years ago, and when I started researching it, what shocked me was the fact that if you stand a UPC woman and an IFB woman next to each other, you can't tell which one is which. Both denominations are cults, in my opinion, and I left the UPC in my 20's and never looked back. I am now 44, and my 24 yr old brother is a UPC preacher. He preaches for them, and I preach against them. I feel that it is my duty to tell as many people as I can to not get involved with them. Almost my whole family on my mom's side is UPC, and they believe that I am going to hell. I have found a beautiful church that accepts me the way that I am, bisexuality, tattoo, piercings, pants, leather, black clothes, everything that makes me, me. I sing in church, and I play the piano, and I can feel God's Spirit so much more than I ever could during the ten years that I was the choir pianist for the UPC church.

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  4. I was raised in the UPC church. I consider it to be a cult. What I find interesting is that we were taught that every other denomination that didn't believe the way we did was going to hell. I had never heard of IFB until a couple of years ago, and when I started researching it, what shocked me was the fact that if you stand a UPC woman and an IFB woman next to each other, you can't tell which one is which. Both denominations are cults, in my opinion, and I left the UPC in my 20's and never looked back. I am now 44, and my 24 yr old brother is a UPC preacher. He preaches for them, and I preach against them. I feel that it is my duty to tell as many people as I can to not get involved with them. Almost my whole family on my mom's side is UPC, and they believe that I am going to hell. I have found a beautiful church that accepts me the way that I am, bisexuality, tattoo, piercings, pants, leather, black clothes, everything that makes me, me. I sing in church, and I play the piano, and I can feel God's Spirit so much more than I ever could during the ten years that I was the choir pianist for the UPC church.

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  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  6. I don't buy calvinism, but it is terrible that so many Churches teach that a person is saved by reading a prayer off a card. A person is saved by believing on the Lord Jesus Christ. (Acts 16:30-31)

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